Fun with pain: beware the speed wobbles; and tighten those trucks

 

I’m not a huge fan of watching someone’s humorous get suddenly ejected, seeing ankles fold like wet cardboard, or any other form of serious injury that seems to pass for a good time on YouTube today.

But sometimes, like an accidental punch to the nuts, another person’s video-recorded pain can be pretty funny. Like in this scene of a group of skateboarders seemingly out for an afternoon kick-around. Clearly one of them, who is easy to spot, didn’t tighten his trucks this morning and comes down with a seriously contagious case of the speed wobbles. The result is an epic, but rather painless, pile-up reminiscent of the best NASCAR smackdowns. The lawn slide at the end? Wonderful.

Enjoy.

10 rock climbing terms that could also make cool rock band names

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If a survey was given to new rock climbers on why they started climbing, responses would probably indicate that at least 25% did so for the cool stuff you get to say. Words like “sketchy” and “bomber.”

This is probably because rock climbing terminology doesn’t have a lot of purpose in other societal contexts. “So hey, I’m not sure I can get this sale done by the quarter, it’s getting cruxy.”

This got me to thinking, where else could rock climbing jargon make sense? How about in the nomenclature of rock bands?

So check it out: here are what I think are 10 rock climbing terms that could be best used to title … wait for it … a rock band.

1. Precipice
Kind of esoteric, probably best reserved for one of those somewhat sophisticated arena rock bands, similar to Rush or Queen.

2. Black Crag
These guys have already broken up but rest assured they have a dark collective of fans that will testify to their influence on the genre. Whatever that might be.

3. Smear
Think Cake, or Weezer. A tongue-in-cheek, lyric-driven triad of guys who managed a radio hit or two but still pump out EPs.

4. Splitter
Oh hell yes. Straight-up speed metal.

5. Ascender
Guitar heavy, tricky chords and fans across all demos. But then it becomes cool for Internet people to not like them.

6. Slab
One of the founders of Splitter left and started this group. They kicked him out too.

7. The Crux
Probably a one-time twisted, Devil-praising type group who are now more cliche than innovative.

8. Handjam
A team-up of well-known singer-songwriters who got together once for a benefit or some stoner fest somewhere in the Blue Ridge Mountains.

9. Deadpoint
Also a cool name for a comic book villain. Maybe Deadpool’s sister. 

10.Klemheist
Easily an underground German death metal group. Fans wear goat costumes to their bizarre concert/stage dramas.

So what do you think, got a few more?

Oh, and if any of these are the names of actual, existing bands, I don’t know it; and no, I’m not Googling these terms to find out. Feel free to promote yourself in the comment section. Except you Smear, no one listens to your crap.